Motivation, Tips and Tricks

Sell your skills, but not your soul

Take no Shit

Once I had this [insert insult word of choice here] boss that was a serious chauvinistic sociopath!

Even considering that I have joined company as a junior specialist at the time, he thought that my duties should also involve making coffee, cleaning desks after board meetings, being his PA, printing out his itineraries for the business trips, building excel pivot charts for his reports (that he had to make!) doing a lot of tedious manual tasks that other people didn’t want, switching off the coffee machine before leaving work and I was even asked to clean the kitchen cupboards once!

Note again, this was not an office admin, support, PA or secretary role at all, well at least when he interviewed me. But this fine gentleman felt that I should do all these tasks because I was the only young girl in that company at the time, and this is what young girls do!

To add more to the mix - he was treating me as if I was a small child or slightly retarded person. Talking to me slowly because I am a foreigner (and foreigners think slower, right?), calling me a gypsy, because I am from post soviet country (not really sure how this is relevant), joking inappropriately because he could and generally aiming to treat me as a second class citizen.

For some reason this little man thought that the fact that I was managing a cash box was something worth putting on my CV and when I have asked for a raise he added 0.5% to my annual pay and thought I should be really grateful. 0.5%  per year is rather taking a piss, not a raise.

But please do not think that I was living a totally miserable office life. Not at all. I learned a very valuable lesson of taking no shit in life!

Well it might have taken me a little while to develop a skill, and I might have bursted into tears once in his office, because he gave me a totally irrelevant task (building pretty complex macros in excel for his reports) with deadline “yesterday” and when I didn’t finish it, he started giving out to me in the nastiest possible way. But this was a breakthrough!

Since I have stopped doing things I don’t want and don’t see any value in doing in the light of my career progression and took initiative in doing things I want to do, the petty man was no longer my manager, staff for all this extra job was hired and I made it from junior staff to a manager in two years with a pretty decent pay rise of 40% and had few different directors I was reporting to who were really great. Then I left the job.

And soon I am leaving yet again for a very serious and well paid job that I would have never got if I would have listened to that [insert insult word of choice here] boss and would have made coffee’s, did PA tasks, cleaned cupboards and made sure that everyone is happy.

The moral of the story is:  if you are a young professional – ALWAYS KNOW YOUR VALUE, know what you are there for, take no shit, keep on learning, sell your skills but not your soul and never ever let your boss to bring you down, devalue you or treat you in any way that makes you feel bad! Be fair to yourself! If you are any good at what you do – there are plenty of opportunities and you do not have to accept sick attitude from anyone ever.

I really hope that this will inspire at least one person to quit the job where they are not treated right!

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One Day Only
Techniques, Tips and Tricks

My way of getting things done

I have learned one little trick from a girl I met only once in Vilnius many moons ago, but it really worked wonders to me and I would like to share it with you!

This method comes from some program that supposed to help alcoholics to fight their addiction, but since I have never been an alcoholic and no one from my loved ones ever admitted they were – I am really not sure which program it is, so you will have to excuse me for ignorance!

It all started from me trying and failing to free myself from very toxic love affair that really needed to end before it ended me!

Trick is very easy – all I had to stick to is keep reminding myself NOT TO think, stalk, call, email, Skype, remember in any way that person for just one day! Which made all the process of healing and stepping out of this mess manageable.

So I set myself reminders on my phone, sticky notes around my bedroom, work space, bathroom mirror, etc. To remind myself that I am letting go of this only for one day. 24 hours is nothing! After about a month of constant reminders – I was free.

When you divide something into smaller portions and allowing yourself to believe that this is just for one day, problem, addiction or whatever loses it’s weight. I used this method for:

  • changing habits (do not smoke first thing in the morning just for one day)
  • letting go of people (do not contact him/her just for one day),
  • getting work done (do not procrastinate just for one day),
  • finishing my dissertation (do not play video games/ browse random blogs/ etc just for one day).
  • changing eating habits (do not eat anything that doesn’t grow from earth just for one day)
  • cheering myself up (I am sad only for one day, tomorrow will be ok)
  • etc.

Give it a try for whatever you want to change in your awesome existence  to be happier and enjoy life to the fullest!

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Ideas

Why I hate Sundays

Yes, I know, Sunday is the day for drinking loads of juice, chilling, staying in bed till noon, going to the beach, healing from that hangover, catching up on reading, movies, exercise, jogging, yoga, family and friends or whatever you do. But with a lower phase than any other day.  It should be grand, it should be a pleasant day.

But it’s not. Sunday evenings sucks the most! Especially for those of us who has weird need to do more that they need.

Around 7pm you have to admit that yet again you haven’t cleaned your apartment, haven’t read stuff for that part time course you are doing, haven’t made those collages that you always plan to do for three years in the row, haven’t done all that extra work you need for the week ahead, haven’t touched that freelance or volunteer projects that are going close to deadline, haven’t really slept enough to feel well rested and didn’t really do that research for Monday breakfast interview.

To make it even worth – you were thinking about this all weekend, but didn’t turn thoughts into actions, therefore your mind didn’t enjoy the luxury of doing nothing.

I once read somewhere that if you procrastinate on something till ridiculous extend, perhaps it is not worth doing at all. But sometimes Sunday evening feels to me a little like wasted life full of unfulfilled hopes.

This is not happiness.

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Longing a little
Ideas

Old friends, unconditional love, toxic relationship and letting go

There is a theory that our personalities are changing every 7 years, and you are not the same you that you were when you were 15, 20 or 28. I rather prefer to believe that people are simply going through the stages and our personalities are transformed by the experiences we encounter.

However, you can’t take all the people whom you love on this transformational journey with you and, more often than not, those people grow into different directions. Especially people based in the different geographical locations, cultural environments, value systems and running different lifestyles.

Result of it – either uncomfortable silence due to the lack of shared interests or toxicity of friendship where neither of the parties feel any satisfaction in the communication.

I am not talking about the family, as the reason you are sharing your life with them is obvious and doesn’t require justification. But what about all the long-term and long distance friendships that you maintain and nourish because you like those people?

Sometimes it really breaks your heart when the beloved friend that shared so many long conversations, tears and laughs and sleepless nights and jokes and were there for you one day just leaves you rather confused and upset after regular conversation.

It’s just an accident of course, you will think, but the situation will repeat it self again and again. Yet the unconditional love for the long-term friends sometimes makes you to forgive person only because you know her or him for decades and this little slip is nothing on a bigger scale of human relationship.

But if a friendship becomes toxic, perhaps you should rather let go before everything is ruined?

At some stage in my wonderful life I was big believer in the skill of letting go of what I can’t hold on to. But in practice it’s pretty hard to admit and make peace with the thought that this person and you are no longer on the same page and you never will be again.

This is the point when I like a theory that we are not the same who we were some years ago as this allows me to think that my long-term friend was a friend of the old me, but I am no longer the old me and he or she is no longer my old friend. The life happened in between, but I can keep the memories of great sensation of this friendship that was a part of transformational journey to what I am now.

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Psychogenic pain

Tips and Tricks
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