Be kategorijos, Ideas

It is ok to break sometimes

It is ok

I’m overwhelmed by everything around.

And things, and people, and chaotic unpredicted events, and stress and head aches and everything keeps on happening to me until I can no longer breath and I break.

Into bed, into screaming my lungs out while driving over speed limit and listening to angry music. Into switching my phone off.  Into not being able to breath and feel myself as a whole.

Into nothingness. Into not being able to pretend that I am sleeping. Into not being able to sleep.

But it is ok to spend a day in bed and feel angry for the things being so real.

It’s ok to seek help, it’s ok to refuse help because of not knowing how to accept it.

It is probably better to learn to let go of despair and anger.

It is probably better to accept things the way they are than hate things and feel helpless.

Today I found this comforting sensation of having my legs up the wall, placing one palm on the heart centre and breathing into it. I love that space between every breath and it comforts me.

But then I break again.

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Motivation, Movies

Life is light and full of light

Life should be as light as evening on the beach with friends. Full of light and radiating nothing but light. No matter how stressful, long and busy office hours are, there’s always a beach to go completely wild at.

Here’s a little video of my latest achievement in tripod headstands, made by my amazing fiancé and featuring two beautiful friends of ours dancing around at Dollymount beach in Dublin (who needs Maldives, anyway?). If you give yourself space – good things come to you. Eventually.

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Ideas

No one is broken. Everyone is ok!

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I kind of struggle to understand where this idea of “being broken inside”, “breaking”, “souls breaking into pieces” etc is coming from. Your bones can be broken, your fingernails can break, your body ache. But that’s ok! Body is quick to heal!

And you, as a human being, are not and will never be broken. You are whole, you are complete, you are beautiful. There is nothing that could break. Everything is ok.

And even when you go for days without time to check in with yourself and get exhausted – sleep, juice, yoga, water, rest and loads of cuddles with your loved ones can keep you whole, complete and happy.

No one is broken. Everyone is ok.

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This Too Shall Pass
Motivation, Tips and Tricks

This Too Shall Pass

Perhaps you all are familiar with Jewish folktale about King Solomon, his ring  and wisdom though this too shall pass” carved on it, therefore I will not expand on this.  

However, few days ago I was at this yoga workshop and the teacher whispered some pretty cool thoughts on the topic while all the students were sinking into their bodies during savasana. 

Ask yourself: when was the last time sadness and sorrow did not go away at all? when was the last time joy did not come after sadness?

It’s simple, I know.

Day after workshop I was tired after hectic week, laying on my bed and blindly looking through the window while sadness sunk into me and I had zero desire to do anything else but feel bad about everything. This little thought that came back to me from that savasana time was like a fresh breeze and I strongly believe this is something you too should hold on to!

Whatever you re going through at the moment – This Too Shall Pass.

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Motivation, Tips and Tricks

Sell your skills, but not your soul

Take no Shit

Once I had this [insert insult word of choice here] boss that was a serious chauvinistic sociopath!

Even considering that I have joined company as a junior specialist at the time, he thought that my duties should also involve making coffee, cleaning desks after board meetings, being his PA, printing out his itineraries for the business trips, building excel pivot charts for his reports (that he had to make!) doing a lot of tedious manual tasks that other people didn’t want, switching off the coffee machine before leaving work and I was even asked to clean the kitchen cupboards once!

Note again, this was not an office admin, support, PA or secretary role at all, well at least when he interviewed me. But this fine gentleman felt that I should do all these tasks because I was the only young girl in that company at the time, and this is what young girls do!

To add more to the mix – he was treating me as if I was a small child or slightly retarded person. Talking to me slowly because I am a foreigner (and foreigners think slower, right?), calling me a gypsy, because I am from post soviet country (not really sure how this is relevant), joking inappropriately because he could and generally aiming to treat me as a second class citizen.

For some reason this little man thought that the fact that I was managing a cash box was something worth putting on my CV and when I have asked for a raise he added 0.5% to my annual pay and thought I should be really grateful. 0.5%  per year is rather taking a piss, not a raise.

But please do not think that I was living a totally miserable office life. Not at all. I learned a very valuable lesson of taking no shit in life!

Well it might have taken me a little while to develop a skill, and I might have bursted into tears once in his office, because he gave me a totally irrelevant task (building pretty complex macros in excel for his reports) with deadline “yesterday” and when I didn’t finish it, he started giving out to me in the nastiest possible way. But this was a breakthrough!

Since I have stopped doing things I don’t want and don’t see any value in doing in the light of my career progression and took initiative in doing things I want to do, the petty man was no longer my manager, staff for all this extra job was hired and I made it from junior staff to a manager in two years with a pretty decent pay rise of 40% and had few different directors I was reporting to who were really great. Then I left the job.

And soon I am leaving yet again for a very serious and well paid job that I would have never got if I would have listened to that [insert insult word of choice here] boss and would have made coffee’s, did PA tasks, cleaned cupboards and made sure that everyone is happy.

The moral of the story is:  if you are a young professional – ALWAYS KNOW YOUR VALUE, know what you are there for, take no shit, keep on learning, sell your skills but not your soul and never ever let your boss to bring you down, devalue you or treat you in any way that makes you feel bad! Be fair to yourself! If you are any good at what you do – there are plenty of opportunities and you do not have to accept sick attitude from anyone ever.

I really hope that this will inspire at least one person to quit the job where they are not treated right!

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One Day Only
Techniques, Tips and Tricks

My way of getting things done

I have learned one little trick from a girl I met only once in Vilnius many moons ago, but it really worked wonders to me and I would like to share it with you!

This method comes from some program that supposed to help alcoholics to fight their addiction, but since I have never been an alcoholic and no one from my loved ones ever admitted they were – I am really not sure which program it is, so you will have to excuse me for ignorance!

It all started from me trying and failing to free myself from very toxic love affair that really needed to end before it ended me!

Trick is very easy – all I had to stick to is keep reminding myself NOT TO think, stalk, call, email, Skype, remember in any way that person for just one day! Which made all the process of healing and stepping out of this mess manageable.

So I set myself reminders on my phone, sticky notes around my bedroom, work space, bathroom mirror, etc. To remind myself that I am letting go of this only for one day. 24 hours is nothing! After about a month of constant reminders – I was free.

When you divide something into smaller portions and allowing yourself to believe that this is just for one day, problem, addiction or whatever loses it’s weight. I used this method for:

  • changing habits (do not smoke first thing in the morning just for one day)
  • letting go of people (do not contact him/her just for one day),
  • getting work done (do not procrastinate just for one day),
  • finishing my dissertation (do not play video games/ browse random blogs/ etc just for one day).
  • changing eating habits (do not eat anything that doesn’t grow from earth just for one day)
  • cheering myself up (I am sad only for one day, tomorrow will be ok)
  • etc.

Give it a try for whatever you want to change in your awesome existence  to be happier and enjoy life to the fullest!

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